Every Problem Has A Solution

Every problem has a solution.  At least that's what I tell my daughter all the time.  I tell her that so much, that it has become cliché.

The problem with my man, as I told the story in my previous post, was that he had to win back my trust.  Not easy.  The solution we finally came up with was that whenever I felt uneasy, I could check his texts or his FaceBook page which he left open for me at all times.  He was spending much of his time at my place anyway.  It still made me uneasy. I really didn't want to be THAT girl.  I didn't want to have to feel that I needed to check up on him.  However, we felt it would be a form of training wheels until I felt comfortable enough to go back to where we were.  Slowly, we were getting there.  That's when we decided to move in together.  After all, we were supposed to get a house together last year, but that fell through due to circumstances beyond our control.

Just one month after the move, I caught him lying to my face and hiding things from me.  Once again, my spidey senses started tingling and I had the feeling that he was deleting texts and FaceBook messages.  On several occasions, I stated my fears to him.  He dismissed them, and told me he that he was not deleting anything. I tried to have faith, but that feeling just kept gnawing at me.  So I did a little digging and found something that seemed to indicate that I might be right.

Last Monday, I broached the topic with him.  I explained to him that nothing that he could be communicating would be worse than purposely hiding and lying to me, even if he was trying to protect my feelings.  I don't like feeling like a fool.  Again, he stood his position.

Tuesday comes and I find more indicators.  I don't want to share them with him because I don't want to teach him how to deceive me even better.  I ask him point blank again, "Are you deleting messages?"  Denial, again.  So I ask him to open his email account and prove it.  He agrees.  As he is signing in, I hear his breathing becoming noticeably more shallow and rapid.  He suddenly flings his hands up in the air and says "I can't do this!!!" He stands up and confesses he has been deleting messages.  I look through the emails and ask questions.  I find a few things that I'm not thrilled with, but can deal with.

You see, my man was a performer for a long time. That's why he was such a good liar.  He even was part of a comedy troupe for several years.  He likes to push the envelope.  Apparently, he thought his risqué comments would be a deal-breaker for me.  When in fact, it wasn't.  What is a deal-breaker is dishonesty.  He almost lost me trying to protect me.  The fact of the matter is that he didn't trust our relationship.  He almost tore it up over something stupid. I do know that he doesn't want to lose me and my daughter.

The next day, he called me at work.  He was actually crying.  I've never heard him cry.  Not even when his younger sister passed a couple of years ago. Final result: he's getting one more chance.  He gave me all his passwords and said I could feel free to check anytime I like.  Who needs that, when you've got my spidey senses? If he screws up again, he is very well aware that I am going to fully embrace the cliché:  Three Strikes, You're Out!