All blogged up and nothing to type. At least that's what it's feeling like now. Just a swirl of ideas. Was moved to start this blog in an effort to create order out of chaos. And yes, I expect nothing less than the impossible.
I'm a single mom and my boyfriend just moved in with me last month. Which leads to the question that I've asked for years: What is the appropriate term for the person with whom you're engaged in a monogamous relationship, but not married to, when you're over the age of 30? I've gone round and round on this topic with many people. "Friend" does not say enough, "Lover" says too much, and "Partner" sounds like you should open up a law firm.
So, BF moves in. Just a month later, I find out he's been lying to my face.
To give a little background information, back in March I caught him having an inappropriate relationship with a woman from his past who he found on FaceBook. First I must state emphatically that he did not have sex with her. She lives 300 miles away. And while he rocks a good size cock, it's not big enough to cross half the state. Nonetheless, an intimate relationship formed. I started to suspect something around the holidays last year. I thought there were way too many texts and i.m.-ings going on (Red Flag). When I called him on it, he said I was being jealous and crazy. I've been called crazy, but never jealous. I was NEVER that kind of girl. In the past, I always had lots of male friends and understood if a man had female friends. He was very defensive and emotional (Another Red Flag). He is never emotional.
Things finally come to a head at the end of April. I wake up from a dream where I am told, and I kid you not, that I have to "save him from himself'". In my sweat-soaked tank-top with adrenaline coursing through my veins, I pace the floors wondering what to do. Before I can talk myself out of it, I find myself grabbing his keys and heading to his car to get his cell phone. He took to keeping his cell phone in his car when he was over my place (*nodding* Yes, another Red Flag). I pull up his texts and try to read them, but I forgot my glasses. I go back to my place, get them, and go back out to the car. I'm committed now. I just know in every fiber of my being there is something there...and I'm not going to like it. I've never done anything like this before. It reminded me of an episode of 'Sex In The City' where Carrie snoops through her new boyfriend's belongings because he's too good to be true. She gets caught. I don't care. This is different. I just know...
The painful truth comes to light. I am right. Just that day, their relationship started to take a more sexual turn. Sexually charged remarks and photos were exchanged and to put the cherry on top, a video was sent in which he blows a kiss and says 'love you...'. My stomach starts to burn as I feel the acid race up my throat. Where the hell did this elephant come from that is now sitting on my chest??!! True Cliché: My heart is broken.
I'm up for hours till he wakes. I start asking questions about the woman in question. I then ask to see his texts. He is not yet aware that I went into his phone. He tries to bluff me, saying "You want to see it???? Here! Let's Look!!!" He expected me to say "No honey, you're offering to show it to me so you Must be innocent."
Dick.
Changing tactics, he decides that he can't show me based on principle. Principle? You've got to be kidding me. I ask him to leave, still not revealing what I know. The next day, I reveal what I know. It's been my m.o. in the past to leave. Run away. I've never put up with anyone's crap. True Cliché: Love makes you do crazy things. We came up with a solution to work through it. That will be for the next post.
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